Make Love, Not War
by Ultimanium
Summary: It is the Automaton Workshop's sworn duty to explore the beneficial and... less than practical uses of automatons. Quite possibly the second most pointless thing you will ever read.


Iruki-Waraki jogged with a not-so-subtle spring in his step past the massive stone fountain that stuck out of the center of the Aht Uhrgan Whitegate, humming to himself as he quickly began to hobble up the stairs that exited onto the second floor of the city's main plaza. Accelerated compared to his normal pace, he would be arriving at the small automaton workshop near one of the Whitegate's small commercial ports twice as fast as he usually did - though still at least three times longer than the average person took; there were Elvaan and Mithra rears that needed ogling along the way. 

The galkan manager of the small machine shop had stumbled across a unique automaton attachment during one of his last visits to the Alzadaal ruins deep under the oceans, along with the Empire's own AARI inspection team, and had taken it back to his laboratory for diagnosis. Iruki himself had no idea what it did, but his collection of plugins needed refreshing - and while he again had no ability to actually get it for himself, he could at least find some way to reverse engineer it and possibly synthesize a copy for himself - as he did with the other half of his set. 'Efficient' was the term he used.

He finally arrived at the run-down second-floor building. He reached up and twisted the handle, letting out a dull grunt as he realized that it appeared locked. "Hmm..." his eyes flitted around some more, eventually settling on the chipped wooden sign hung up higher that read 'OUT FOR LUNCH - BACK AT 14:00'. "...well, I guess that explains why I don't rush here all the time... but... gahhhhh, I don't wanna have to waaaaaait to see it..." Iruki-Waraki growled, leaning back and forward again to bash his head against the door. He stumbled forward as the lock simply flew off and the door creaked open. Regaining his balance, he gaped at the door, looking around quickly to make sure no one had saw him. "...well that's funny... it must've been locked from the inside. I guess everyone's back already. I could see myself making that mistake..."

He planted a hand firmly on the door and slowly pushed it open again. He waddled in, glancing around. "Everybody must be upstairs..." he continued up the shallow ramp that went to the upper level. He hastened himself as he simply strode around the wall, moving up to the front desk. "Guys, open the door next ti-"

What he saw equally horrified him and turned him on.

* * *

Ghatsad stood with his massive arms folded, staring distastefully at the Harlequin-model automaton that sat perched on his workbench. The papers, vials and tools that usually sat on it had been strewn all across the floor. Ghatsad reached forward with two bulky fingers and weakly lifted the puppet's right arm. Its hand had been removed and replaced with what looked like a large, dark green pylon. The entire arm was soaking wet with a clear liquid.

Another chestnut-haired Tarutaru sat at the nearby furnace. "So what'd you say to Tateeya?"

"Abda. I sent her home. She will not be paid for today." The galka muttered. "Typically I would not wish to be this strict, but... I don't even HAVE a gender and I found what she did repulsive. But that's not what makes me angry, it's the fact that I need to present this attachment to the palace in the next fifteen minutes. I wish Iruki-Waraki would take a long walk off a short pier, but if he hadn'tve been there..."

Abda-Lurabda stared into the fire, throwing another small block of wood in. "Just be happy she wasn't on her per-"

The two quickly jerked back into place as the twin doors of the shop slammed shut again. She both spun on their heels to face the Immortal that stood with his arms folded behind his back, facing them. A pair of cold blue eyes stared out from behind the ornately sewn veil. His gold chains clanked along with him as he smugly walked forward. "...Ghatsad. Have you managed to determine the origin and purpose the automaton machine that you found with the assistance of the AARI? They and Lady Aphmau... grow impatient."

"I had last night actually, but I wasn't sure if it would have been right to crash down into the Imperial Ward at 2 in the morning," Ghatsad began to gingerly disconnect the violated armpiece. "...well, anyways... I refer to this as the Dynamo. at first I was unsure of this attachment's purpose... it seems to have a power regulator that directly interfaces with that of an automaton's... when I hooked it up to my test model, I was able to activate its main engine, which caused it to vibrate constantly. From the degree it does so, it could probably cause enormous damage if cranked up to full power and embedded it in a melee weapon."

"Among other things." Abda-Lurabda mumbled. Ghatsad jabbed an elbow into his head.

The guard raised an eyebrow as he moved closer. "...what is that gunk?"

"He found it in Caedarva Mire." Abda blurted.

"He means, I-I dropped it in the mire, after I... uh... got out of the ruins."

The blue mage eyed the two wearily. "Really now. If your reports conflict those documented by the AARI, you do know the consequences, yes?"

The two mechanics quickly nodded.

"...very well. I will be taking that now, if you don't mind. Lady Aphmau will be pleased with your efforts. Just... wipe that off first, or something... I don't know what you dropped it in, but it completely reeks."

Ghatsad and Abda exchanged uneasy stares.

* * *

The rest of the night would be uneventful for all those involved. Iruki, Ghatsad and Abda would all go to bed in several hours and go on to have horrific nightmares about what each of them saw. The guard on the other hand stood perched in his usual position in the palace's main hall, with each of its torches dimly lit, waiting with his hand resting on his scabbard. Again his eyes stared out from the darkness.

Still, he was unable to see Ovjang running for its dear life, leaving a trail of liquid behind its left arm.


End file.
